What about a life with some principles?

This blog is an outcome of long informal conversation I was having with my colleague Priyanka in the early office hours on the values and principles which the present generation is lacking and compromise on them. It is especially sad to see girls compromise on them, not that boys are allowed to do so. But the image of men has for long been debilitated and now the pointer is turning towards girls. It is my belief that a girl can do wonders to change the world, atleast her family, to a better place to live in.

The idea of values, morals and principles is confusing to my generation. And they better like to stay out of it. I am not generalizing the statements and no offences to anyone, but this is what comes from my experiences with a number of people I have seen and known around. And this blog comes from my heart!!

Being religious is easy, you have to pray and the whole onus is on God to keep you emotionally and financially strong. If something wrong happens, it is easy to blame God. And for wishing something good, it is easy to ask God for help. But as the saying goes – “God helps those who help themselves” is hardly cared for by the present gen. Girls depend emotionally, financially and physically so much on boys that this saying is just proved right. Not that it is wrong or I am against it, but the right judgment and use of rational brain lacks in the process. That is just one harsh example.

I want to give an example of my Mom here. I am inspired totally with my Mom who has been a strong headed woman and has done excellently well not just at work but also at home. If I recall her daily schedule when I was a child, she used to get up at 4 o’clock in the morning, do her regular exercise, cook for the family – breakfast as well as lunch, have breakfast with us and read news paper, get fresh, go to office, work there, come back home. By the time my Dad used to prepare evening tea and we used to have it together in evening. I and my sister used to cuddle our mom since the whole day we were just looking at the clock to tick 6, when my mom would come. That was not the end of the day since she would get ready to cook dinner and then watched TV together and family talks. And doing in all that, I have never ever missed the smile on my Mom’s face. Her lifestyle may though seem a burden for the present generation girls and feminists but I feel my Mom is my role model now who has taught me to adapt to all the conditions and survive well out of them. And she hasn’t taught me this in words but in practice. By seeing her do all that, I feel when she can do why can’t i? More than that, I have respect for her dedication and giving nature and whenever I go home now, I make sure that she relaxes and doesn’t just work alone all day. She has earned that respect and love from me and my Dad and from the whole family.

Her dedication and motivation to work all day around taught me a number of things ranging from self discipline to punctuality, ownership of things to sense of responsibility, devotion to life with principles and being happy all the time.

I see my generation girls lacking on these basic things – like values, contentment, sense of responsibility, and ownership of things, which are very vital for a happy and content survival. The seeds of these values and principles need to be sown from the very beginning or one should learn from one’s experiences of life and behave more mature, responsible and a cultured citizen. But my generation believes in living in present without caring for future. Without caring that our present determines what we will be in future. Enjoying life is great but not to the extent of compromising on one’s principles.

My words may sound too moral and idealistic but a life without morals/ values is worthless. No offences to anyone, these are totally my views and opinions.

Well, I am sure to have confused the readers of my blog, but that is what the whole intention was so as to provoke your thoughts on this. What do you feel about this? What about a life with principles?

The principle could be as simple as I don’t have to form stereotypes about people; I don’t need to lie to the one’s I love because if they love me they will never leave me; I don’t need to party late just because I will otherwise be out of my group; I have to deal with challenges and not run away from them; I shouldn’t forget the love and care of my parents as I grow up and develop relations with others; I will respect all come what may, not for their opinions but as a person; I will give some time to myself in a day and read, write or do whatever I like; My any action should not be disturbing to the other person and I will be cautious about it and take care of it; I will not be rude even if situation demands me too I will keep my calm. Once set one must not compromise on them and make them the guiding principles to lead one’s life happily and we will have a better reason to live a worthy life with dignity.

These things are learnt with experiences and I myself am learning about these and trying to develop my own principles.

We commit mistakes, learn from them but let us not commit the mistakes again and again as if we never learned from them. Let us just give it a thought.

P.S: This is not a gender specific topic, so male readers can put their views and comments too.

Mumbai... Local trains and that all!!

Dear all,

Today i am very enthusiastic to share my experiences with Mumbai. My first trip to the place was as amazing and adventurous, as i could have ever thought of. This was more of an orientation to Mumbai, with travel in local train, bus, auto and almost all the public modes of transport. But let me tell you, if you are going to Mumbai and not travelling in local train, then you are missing half the fun. With people of all classes travelling in this train, you will definitely be overwhelmed by the trust that hawkers have with people. These hawkers selling things ranging from ear-rings to bangles, just hand over the box full of ornaments to people and move around the whole train. People enjoy looking and admiring these ornaments and take some when he is back. I don't know why this striked me but i believe it is the faith that hawkers have in strange people.. People were very friendly to me and since i was unaware of the place, they took quite care of me and showed me the exact way where to get down and how to go.. It was amazing. For the first time, i did not feel i am away from my home- place and i felt secure... But one thought kept pondering my mind, that why is then Mumbai infamous for just propogating Marathi culture and being animist to people from outside especially U.P and Bihar... There could be two reasons: Either the trip was too short to get the other feeling of insecurity or it is all just politically made up.. I was seated and was looking and suddenly my attention was caught by big bunch of women flocking in the train..each one of them was managing to get in the train somehow.. And suddenly i felt the whole of India has migrated to Mumbai today..and is in the local train.. Local women were helping each other by adjusting as many people as they possibly could have in the seat.. It was somehow a nice feeling for me but i truely understand how annoying it will be so annoying for the local people who have to travel daily like that..
Especially the day when people would mostly use the local train - Sunday, there comes this MEGA BLOCK, where in tracks are cleaned and so the number of local trains running on the tracks is reduced.. I was also stuck in the process and the initial barrier to getting the local train was the LONG QUEUE.. And as i stood in the queue, there was a lunch break and then i was told that the train is going to leave and the next would come after an hour due to the same MEGA BLOCK... I started cursing MEGA BLOCK like anything but suddenly i was again made felt that how homely Mumbai can make you.. A woman came to my rescue and she got this bunch of coupons from other counter and told me to come along with her... I resisted a little but since i had no choice and i did not want to wait in the long queue and then for an hour for the train, i just moved along with her.. She validated these coupons and we finally catched the local train, which was just about to leave.. Aaahh!!

Finally, i guess my Mumbai trip will just remind me of these local trains!! And since it was just a two day trip, couldn't see the other side of it..

But one very beautiful thing about this trip was that i met my sweet dear darling sister after almost 2 and a half year... I love you my sweet sis..

Sanchore!!

I should have written about this long before but work kept me busy or rather say, i didn't take out time for this.
Though it is better to be late than never!!

Sanchore is the place where i was working for 3 months. A semi-arid region, Sanchore falls in Western Rajasthan and touches the Gujarat border. The place has Gujarati touch- in terms of culture. My 3 months stay in this place not just made me dark but i never imagined that 3 months in this place will make me miss it so much.. I never liked the place earlier but when i shifted back to Delhi, i realised that i miss the place as much as people, there..

Living in Sanchore made me change a lot. This is here i learnt to be totally self dependent.. This self dependency was learnt by, as small thing as traveling to remote villages and larger cities alone..I learnt here that people in rural areas don't have material pleasures to give you but they have a big heart and will love an outsider and will even not let that outsider know when s/he became an insider. My short stay in the place made me soo close to people that it is hard to not be in touch with them.. Living alone was another learning for me and i used to talk to my silence. Though this loneliness drived me away from the place yet that loneliness, i miss now.

Travelling to villages on bike - sharing the small seat with Mahendra and Bharat and sometimes even Prateek, trusting these strangers, who no more are strangers, heated discussions with Bharat at Amar Parantha house over our working strategies and meanwhile silence of Mahendra, struggling for food, eating eggs and eating non veg in a Jain family, counting coins of bharat which amounted to almost 500 Rs- Chilladbaaz, Mahendra calling me Paula, irritating my team when i fell asleep and didn't wake for complete 3 hours and they kept banging on my door for dinner, eating Bajre ki roti, ghee and Chanch at Viya Ram's house, giggles and laughter with women SHG members of Devasiyon ki Dhaani,helping them write their names and they helping in turn each other, struggling with MPOWER.. All these memories make me nostalgic of the place...

Though i am away now, yet i want say to my team members that memories can never fade away. They are much a part of me and have changed my personality and outlook a lot- for good..


Missing people and the place..

Participatory attitude!!

Here comes my blog after a very long gap!!

My work life had kept me too busy to update my blogs and now this professional life has given me food for thought and has helped me write on this particular theme of participation..

I am working in an organization where participatory approaches and participation is the key buzz word..Thanks to PRIA (Society for Participatory research in Asia), my outlook of life has changed. Yesterday i went to train social work students of Jamia Millia University on PRA techniques in their rural camp.. And i realized the change within me. From speaking to listening, from lecturing to discussing, from judging to suggesting, from criticizing to understanding- my whole personality seemed to have undergone a conscious change, which i am enjoying.. Earlier i read of all this in class room lectures but now that i see the change in me and see how this change is helping me develop not just professionally but personally, i feel how important participation can be.. I am on way to develop the participative attitude in me..It helps a person change his entire perspective and one's attitude and behaviour.. And i feel, these skills are not just significant for professionals working on human behaviour but also in other sectors.

Participation here i refer not just one participating in any activity but also giving space to others to help them participate. My attitude helped students to come up with their frank opinions and innovative ideas during the camp. It was thus a two way learning process. Mostly teachers don't listen to their students and they feel they have given in-depth knowledge to students but ask any student what s/he has learnt and the answer would be: Silence.. What is the purpose of such teaching?
Head of a company feels that s/he knows it all and may not give enough scope to his/her subordinates or listen to them. And s/he is losing out on many innovative suggestions and ideas. It might not be true for all but this is seen very often, though system is changing. Same goes for other professions..
How can participation be ensured in our democratic set-up? How can we stop criticizing and start understanding one's situation from their perspective?
It is not an easy job, for it needs change in attitude, reversal of power-letting dominating attitude go off, offsetting biases and so on..

Think over it!!